When and Why Relationships End

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When and Why Relationships Fail

Dealing with a breakup or divorce can be a difficult and stressful time, especially if it is your first long-term relationship. It is important to understand that the emotional turmoil you may experience during this period is only temporary, and getting back to a normal routine can usually speed up the recovery process. In more serious cases, seeking professional support from a GP or psychologist may also be helpful.


Causes of breakup

  • Misdirected anger 
  • Dishonesty and lying
  • Inadequate intimacy
  • Loss of autonomy
  • Cheating and infidelity

Dealing with a breakup

  • Give yourself space and time: Avoiding your ex-partner both physically and online may be helpful in moving forward and healing. Giving yourself time is beneficial for your mental health, as it can help you deal with any extreme emotions you may be experiencing, and provides an opportunity to practice self care.
  • Keep busy: Plan ahead and involve yourself in hobbies. Sticking to your daily routine (sleep, food and exercise) can speed up the recovery process.
  • Talk: Talking with supportive people to discuss what is happening and get a different and more neutral perspective is also helpful. Professional support can also be sought.

Divorce and Families

Causes of divorce

  • Lack of intimacy: prolonged lack of intimacy or attention can lead to a partner feeling unloved and unappreciated.
  • Difficulties in communication
  • Cheating and infidelity: leads to the breaking of trust and communication, and can cause long-term guilt for those responsible.
  • Other causes include lack of respect, trust and growing apart

Dealing with Divorce

  • Allow grieving to occur: Grief is an instinctual process, and can involve repetitive  feelings of shock and numbness. This process will occur until one reaches acceptance of what has happened, and duration is dependent on individual circumstances. If grief has lasted longer than 12 months, it may be helpful to seek professional support. 
  • Choose to move forward: The process of moving forward can occur at the same time as grieving, and can include behaviours such as talking with friends or family, returning to a usual daily routine and engaging in social activities.


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